


absolutely nothing

by actualsunshinejakedillinger



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, im so proud of my boi, jeremy is really in love with michael mell and is sTrUGgLinG, michael gets top surgery, supportive mell parents hell yes, the boyfs love each other a lot, trans!michael
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 15:38:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11164902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actualsunshinejakedillinger/pseuds/actualsunshinejakedillinger
Summary: michael and jeremy are graduating and michael finally gets top surgery. supportive bff jeremy is pining and stressed





	absolutely nothing

**Author's Note:**

> wowie wow wow it took me three days to actually commit to publishing this whoops this is my first fic i've ever published so it's probably v bad but he(e)re goes nothing
> 
> i just love my boys a lot can you tell
> 
> thanks a whole lot to anyone that actually reads this wow i love you in advance 
> 
> also i've decided that jeremy calls michael micha (pronnounced mike-uh) bc i just love that so yeah enjoy

The most important day of his life so far. Michael was ecstatic. Jeremy was terrified. He had waited his entire life for this and Jeremy had never seen anyone as happy as Michael. 

Today was the day. His parents promised him his graduation present a few years in advance to prepare and now the big day was finally here. 

Top surgery.

No more binders, no more hiding under baggy hoodies, no more sitting on the edge of the pool at Christine’s house in a t-shirt. 

To be honest Jeremy was probably more excited than Michael. Despite his mind worrying about every possible outcome that could hurt his best friend, he knew how much this meant to him and he couldn’t wait. Both boys knew it.

Jeremy sat in an uncomfortable plastic chair beside Michael’s hospital bed, both smiling like idiots as the doctor and nurses entered the room. Jeremy squealed quietly, clasping Michael’s hand tightly.

The boys were no strangers to physical contact and would often just walk around places holding hands. That, however, didn’t do much to help Jeremy’s massive crush on his best friend. But he told himself today could be the day. 

After some details about the operation were given, Michael was rolled out of the room and through the halls of the hospital, down to the surgical ward. The whole way, Jeremy’s hand never left his own. He stayed just as he was until the last possible moment. He stood beside the boy he loved and, as he was called in, Michael gazed up at Jeremy with nervous eyes. But Jeremy simply smiled and figured, it’s only fair if he does something almost equally terrifying. 

“Hey,” Jeremy spoke softly, kneeling down beside the bed with his arms crossed on the mattress and his chin resting on them, his face inches from Michael’s. 

“Hey,” Michael chuckled, a smile reappearing on his face.

“I can’t wait to see the real you,” Jeremy gushed, heat burning his cheeks. 

“Neither can I,” Michael said, his voice barely past a whisper, but still paired with the widest smile. 

As Michael was called in once more, Jeremy stood, taking Michael’s hand once more and almost took his chance. He had spent so long thinking about this moment, but one look at Michael's expecting eyes was enough to psych Jeremy out.

“I'm so p-proud of you.” Shit, there was no way he could do this.

Michael’s face showed an unreadable expression as his eyes were full of surprise and joy and his smile giddy with excitement. 

Jeremy bent down and pressed a kiss to Michael’s temple, inhaling the scent of vanilla and his strawberry shampoo. As he reluctantly pulled away and Michael was taken into the other room, he had the widest smile on his face and an adorable pink blush filling his cheeks. Jeremy watched his best friend be taken away and he resumed his position in yet another uncomfortable plastic chair in the waiting room. 

His mind was racing with nerves. He knew Michael would be fine, but what would happen afterward? Jeremy had kissed him. On the head, sure, but he didn’t flinch. He didn’t even seem as horrified as he expected. Still, Jeremy was suddenly freaking out as he questioned every single possible outcome when Michael came out of that room and how it would break Jeremy and their friendship alike. 

But now there was always someone to save him from his own thoughts. His phone buzzed in his jacket pocket and he opened it to see a stream of texts from the group chat he had with all of his friends as they flooded it with encouraging words and reassurances for Michael. Jeremy smiled at how much his new friends had changed in just a year and quickly typed out a response.

Player-Two: Hey, guys! You just missed him, he went in a few minutes ago, but I’ll be sure to show him all this when he’s done in a few hours:)

TotallyBoss: Thanks, dude! I hope the thing we talked about went well;)))

Jeremy chuckled recalling the past week of “secret meetings” with his friends (with the exception of Michael, of course) trying to coach him on how to properly confess his love to his best friend. What seemed like a horrible idea at first ended up actually being loads of fun and well, Jeremy may have backed out for now, but it was still worth it. 

Player-Two: We’ll see I guess

He closed his texts and opened his music library, putting in a pair of headphones from his jacket pocket. He clicked on his favorite playlist; ‘For my player one’, a sappy compilation of cheesy love songs that Jeremy hated to admit reminded him of nothing but Michael. He always played it when he was alone and missed his best friend, but he turned it off, tapping ‘create new playlist’ instead. 

He added songs that the introduced to each other, songs tied to old memories, songs they listen to with their friends, the song they always play in the car together, and just about every song he could find that summed up how far they’d come together. 

The first song Jeremy ever heard Michael sing (that made him cry more than he’d like to admit), the song they always play when they drive to school together to make the day more bearable, the song Jeremy always plays when he stress bakes (which is usually at least unintentionally caused by Michael), and everything else he could remember. He didn’t realize he had started to tear up as he remembered everything they’d been through over the years. 

He really was the love of his life. God, Jeremy was such a mess. But a mess for the most amazing boy in the world, at least.

Hours passed and more tears fell as Jeremy eventually struck up a conversation with Michael’s parents, which quickly took an awkward turn. 

“So…what’s going on between you and Michael? I saw you two earlier, but I didn’t want to interrupt anything,” Mrs. Mell said knowingly. Jeremy’s face went beet red. 

“U-um I-I uh w-what?” Jeremy stammered out, receiving a smirk from Mr. Mell and a sly giggle from his wife.

“Son, you know we love having you around. Always have. But, with that comes our ability to read you like a book, so just tell us this; does he know you like him?” Mr. Mell said with complete certainty and seriousness. Jeremy buried his face in his hands and felt the burning heat on his own cheeks. 

He grumbled out a soft ‘no’ as he sighed, leaning back in his chair. Sure, he told him he loved him, but they had been doing that platonically since they were kids. Michael probably didn’t take him seriously, but maybe it was for the best. Michael’s mother moved into the seat beside Jeremy’s putting her hand on his shoulder, bringing his attention to her face. She was almost the spitting image of Michael. Her chocolate brown eyes glowed just like his and her cheeks were rosy and smooth just like the ones Jeremy loved. 

“Jeremy, we’ve known for a while now and, while you know it’s up to the two of you to decide, Michael would be beyond lucky to have you,” she said, causing Jeremy to smile bashfully. “I’ve never seen someone look at someone else the way you look at my son and I have a feeling that whatever you boys decide to do, it’ll be together. I hope so, at least.” It made him smile how supportive the Mells were of their son. If only his mother was the same way...

Mrs. Mell had always treated Jeremy like a son since he was a kid, but in the years after his parents’ divorce when his mom left, the Mell had always made an effort to ensure Jeremy knew he always had a home with them as well. It was more than he’d ever done anything to deserve, but he was happy. He always had Michael, at least.

He didn’t like to talk about the past fall, but all that mattered was that Jeremy and Michael finally felt somewhat safe at school, not to mention having a whole group of supportive friends. Sure, they all knew none of them could ever come close to what Jeremy and Michael had, but they’d changed and accepted the two friends into their group. Honestly, the two boys had never been happier.

Before he knew it, the four hours were up and Jeremy was jittering like a madman as he waited extremely impatiently for his best friend. His knees bobbed up and down as his hands jittered clasped together. The doors that had taken Michael just a few hours earlier swung open and there he was. Jeremy’s heart did backflips. He was still unconscious, but Jeremy would recognize that tousled brown hair anywhere. 

“Michael!” He called, flying up out of his seat. He followed closely behind the nurses rolling his bed through the hospital, impatiently awaiting the ability to see his best friend. When they arrived in Michael’s hospital room Jeremy was forced to stay back as they set up all of his IVs and stuff, but all he wanted to do was see the boy he loved so much. To tell him how proud he was to call him his best friend. To finally see the real Michael Mell.

After a few minutes, the doctors and nurses left and Jeremy raced to resume his position beside the bed, grasping Michael’s hand as he brushed the hair from his forehead. 

God, he was falling hard. His soft cheeks made Jeremy melt as he curled his fingers into Michael’s chocolate brown waves. His hair has always been Jeremy’s favorite thing to simply play with whenever they were together. He knows it calms Michael down when he needs it and Jeremy just loves the feeling of Michael curled up against him as he does. However, none of that helped that fact that he was hopelessly in love with his best friend and was probably going insane. 

It took about half an hour or so of Jeremy just mindlessly distracting himself with Michael’s beauty before he noticed Michael’s eyelashes twitching. Jeremy’s heart lurched as Michael’s hand curled around his own.

“Michael?” He said tentatively. A tiny smile curled up the corner of his lips as his eyes fluttered open.

“Hey Jer,” he said softly, his voice quiet and hoarse, yet it still made Jeremy blush like a madman. 

Jeremy didn’t notice he had started crying, but seeing his best friend more alive than ever before; seeing the real Michael Mell was the best feeling in the world. 

“You did it, Micah,” Jeremy sniffled, gazing shamelessly up at Michael from his position of leaning his head against his free hand. His other was still tightly intertwined with Michael’s. 

He smiled his wide, toothy grin that Jeremy loved more than anything. 

“All thanks to you,” he whispered, his voice still sore. Jeremy scooted closer to him, their hands still tightly entangled. Jeremy’s face warped into a confused expression and Michael giggled softly. Jeremy would’ve sworn he gained five years to his life.

“You really think I would’ve been able to do this without you? My whole life you’ve been there for me, protecting me, supporting me. You’re the only person I’ve ever met that stayed with my through it all without hesitation, no matter how fucked up I was,” Michael broke eye contact as he spoke, staring at their laced fingers. He began tracing circles on the back of Jeremy’s hand as he continued. “You know better than anyone in the world how hard this was and there’s no way in hell I would be sitting here right now, happier than ever before if it weren’t for you. You, Jeremiah Heere, saved me. You made me who I am and I love that. I love you.”

His breath hitched at those words as Jeremy rose from his position, slowly standing and then sitting on the edge of Michael’s bed. His expression was unreadable but was something of a mix of pain, admiration, and so much love.

He took a deep breath, glancing down at their hands and then back up at Michael. 

“No, you did that yourself,” Jeremy said softly. “You made yourself someone worth saving; someone worth protecting. I was just lucky enough to notice. You changed my life forever the moment you walked in the door of our first-grade classroom. From that moment I knew I had to be friends with the pretty boy with the awkwardly big glasses and adorably dorky Zelda backpack. I never once saw you as anything other than who you really were. When you told me about your old self, I never once thought of you as anything other than who you would be one day. It never mattered to me, but to discover later on that it would matter to others, broke my heart more than you could ever know.”

Jeremy was practically sobbing now and Michael pulled him closer to lay beside him as Jeremy curled into his side. He wrapped his arms around Michael’s chest and shoulders, smiling at the feeling of nothing but gauze and bandages beneath his hospital gown.

“To me, it was never an option through all of this. I wouldn’t dream of it. Everything that happened last fall is by far the biggest regret of my entire life because you are absolutely everything to me, Michael Mell, and I couldn’t be prouder that I finally got to meet the real you today,” Jeremy spoke, no longer caring if he sounded super gay and if he was giving away his crush, he didn’t care.

“I love you too, Micha, more than I could ever find the words to tell you,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to Michael’s before pressing their lips together softly and slowly, yet beautifully.

Sure, it helped that Michael didn’t put his glasses on yet, and maybe Jeremy had a bit of experience in the kissing department, but neither of them could’ve prepared themselves for each other.

Tears welled in Jeremy’s eyes as he slowly pulled away, shifting awkwardly as he apologized profusely and rambled on about ruining their friendship until Michael pulled him back towards him, capturing his lips once more. 

“Jer, what’s wrong?” Michael said soothingly, cupping Jeremy’s face in his hands and brushing the tears from his face. Jeremy just chuckled, smiling widely and looking up at the boy who made him happier than anything else in the world. 

“Absolutely nothing.”

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT:
> 
> OK SO LOADS OF PEOPLE HAVE BEEN USING THE NICKNAME 'MICAH' FOR MICHAEL AND IM SO PROUD OML IT IS MY HC CHILD AND IM SO HAPPY PEOPLE ARE USING IT I CAN'T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY STARTED SOMETHING THIS IS AMAZING PLS MESSAGE ME IF YOU USE IT, I WOULD LOVE TO READ ANY FICS THAT DO, AND THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR ALL OF THE ATTENTION THIS FIC HAS HAD I LOVE IT SO MUCH AND I NEVER EXPECTED ANY OF THIS WHEN I POSTED IT AND IT MEANS THE WORLD SO THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH TO ALL OF YOU LOVELY GUYS GALS AND NONBINARY PALS I LOVE YOU ALL


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